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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?